Birdbrain
by Irasst
Summary: Pharmercy drabbles. Takes place during various points of their relationship. Always ends with Angela facepalming. WARNING: BAD PUNS AND PICK-UP LINES. Part 6 of The Air-Speed Velocity of a Laden Egyptian Falcon.
1. Chapter 1

"Hey there, little kitty."

Angela raised an eyebrow at Fareeha.

"What are you trying to do?" asked Angela.

"I'm _cat_ calling you", said Fareeha with a grin.

Angela slapped herself on the forehead.


	2. Chapter 2

Angela had thought the evening she had planned was going to be perfect. She had taken Fareeha to see a horror film, which Fareeha was bad with, so Angela spent a good hour-and-a-half blissfully feeling Fareeha cowering into her side. Afterwards they went to a fine restaurant to eat, and Fareeha forgot about ghosts and demons by listening to Angela tell her a story about the time Reinhardt lost his swim trunks when he jumped off a cliff into a lake.

"Your voice is beautiful" murmured Fareeha dreamily, with her chin nestled in her hands.

"Thank you", replied Angela. A mischievous smile danced on her lips. "You should hear it in the morning."

"Ok!" Fareeha's face lit up. "I can make breakfast! What time do you want me to come by? Is 8 ok?"

Angela slapped herself on the forehead


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** **This references another story in this series, called "Impact Factor".**

* * *

Fareeha lounged lazily on the couch, her head resting comfortably in Angela's lap.

"Hey", said Fareeha, distracting Angela from her book.

"What is it?" asked Angela.

"Do you only associate people with animals to practice scientific names, or do you do it with plants too?"

"There are some prickly people who remind me of cacti sometimes. But I don't do it as often. Why?"

"Because if you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber."

"Fareeha… Cucumbers are technically fruits, not vegetables…"

"Ok, well if you were a fruit, you'd be a fineapple."

Angela slapped herself on the forehead.


	4. Chapter 4

Fareeha had been working in the hangar with Torbjörn, fixing a malfunctioning thruster on her suit. Angela waited patiently for Torbjörn to take a break before she approached Fareeha from behind.

"Hey", said Angela, who gently ran her fingers down Fareeha's biceps. "Wanna get coffee sometime?"

Fareeha straightened her back, and wiped her greasy hands on an equally greasy rag.

"Oh, I don't like coffee, I like tea", she said seriously.

Angela slapped herself on the forehead.


	5. Chapter 5

Angela snuggled deeper into the crook of Fareeha's neck after a passionate night of love-making and enjoyed feeling Fareeha's fingers run through her hair.

"You know what? I think we'd be great parents to our future kids", whispered Fareeha.

"Hmmm? Why is that?" murmured Angela, already starting to fall asleep.

"Because you're so smart and sweet. And I'm tough, but Pharah."

Angela slapped herself on the forehead.


	6. Chapter 6

Angela watched Fareeha hungrily as the taller woman wrapped herself with a towel before poking her head out of the communal showers. She listened as Fareeha's flip-flops slapped the floor, and saw the way Fareeha shivered from a cool waft of air.

Angela intercepted Fareeha in the hall.

"Hey, you look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?" purred Angela.

"Surely, I'd warm up faster in a thick sweater and with a hot cup of tea?"

Angela slapped herself on the forehead.


	7. Chapter 7

"I'm so sorry, Fareeha, I won't do it again", said Angela after one of the rare fights they had. Angela had left her socks scattered around their room for the umpteenth time, and while Fareeha usually picked them up in silence, one day she just snapped.

Fareeha sighed, and Angela knew she had been forgiven.

"It's ok, it's not actually a big deal. And…" A smile broke across Fareeha's face, and Angela knew what was coming. "I'm sorry for calling you obtuse…"

"Fareeha …" Angela sighed dramatically.

"… when you're really acute angle-a."

Angela slapped herself on the forehead.

* * *

 **A/N: In case you don't know, Angela is Swiss and speaks German. German "Angela" is spoken with a hard "g". Think German Chancellor Angela Merkel.  
**


	8. Chapter 8

It was date night, and Angela and Fareeha were curled up in front of the TV, watching a romantic comedy.

"Hey, if you could change anything about me, what would you change?" asked Fareeha.

"Nothing", replied Angela immediately, but then paused to think. "Actually, I'd like it if could change your last name", said Angela, feeling her heart race.

"What would you change it to? What's wrong with Amari?"

Angela slapped herself on the forehead.


	9. Chapter 9

"Welcome home, ya amar", said Fareeha. She gave Angela a peck on each cheek, and helped her take off her coat.

"What's going on?" said Angela.

"Well, you've been stressed lately, so I wanted to do something for you. I made dinner, put out candles, and we're going to have a nice, long soak in the bath."

"Oh, Fareeha", said Angela as Fareeha urged her into the kitchen. "You're so cheesy sometimes."

"No, this is cheesy", said Fareeha, showing Angela what was inside a pot she had left on the stove. It was fondue.

"Were you… expecting me to say that?"

"I've been thinking about it all day."

Angela slapped herself on the forehead.


	10. Chapter 10

Angela stretched languidly after she finally submitted the paper she had been working on for the last month. Feeling the mix of fatigue and elation that always came after finishing a long-term project, Angela decided that even though it was still before noon, she deserved the rest of the day off.

She grabbed a book, and went hunting for her wife.

She found Fareeha in their garage, applying a coat of paint on the tiny model of the latest mech suit she had designed. Fareeha was so concentrated on her hobby that she didn't even look up when Angela pulled up a chair next to her bench.

Angela felt like being spoiled that day. She watched Fareeha's large hands delicately turn the mouse-sized model between her fingers to paint the bottom of a boot.

"Hey, what are we having for lunch today?" said Angela.

"Mm?" replied Fareeha.

Angela sighed, and rested her chin on the table. She couldn't blame Fareeha for being so engrossed in her work when she often did the same.

She stared at Fareeha's lips, fantasizing about stealing her attention by grabbing her chin and turning her face to kiss her from behind. But it was far more common in their relationship for Angela to initiate things, and this time, Angela wanted Fareeha to take the lead.

When Fareeha finally put down the model to dry, she looked at Angela and smiled, sending Angela's heart leaping in her chest.

"Hey, did you know that when people look at you a lot in the eyes, it means that they want to either kiss or kill you?" said Angela, never breaking eye-contact with Fareeha.

Fareeha's face immediately paled, and she twisted the hem of her shirt anxiously.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, is this because I overbooked our honeymoon with sightseeing attractions? Please don't kill me!"

Angela slapped herself on the forehead.


End file.
